Epitaphs

Perhaps a bit morbid, but I had to smile to read some of these epitaphs. Hope they're worth a smile for you too!

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Harry Edsel Smith of Albany , New York :

Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland , cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle , Age 102. Only The Good Die Young.

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In a London , England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann , Who lived an old maid but died an old Mann
Dec. 8, 1767
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In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery:

Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna

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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico , cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast ... Pardon me for not rising.

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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania , cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake .
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

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A lawyer's epitaph in England :

Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

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John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny

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In a cemetery in Hartscombe , England :

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune

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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls , Vermont :

Here lies the body of our Anna ,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket , Massachusetts :

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

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In a cemetery in England :

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.

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To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent.
Until I know which way you went.